Dating no guts no glory
I forget if it was Saturday or Sunday that I woke up with high ostomy output, decided I could online casino keep myself hydrated, had a little breakfast, then started vomiting.Long story short, I passed out in the hotel bathroom, mom got help from the hotel to rush me around the corner to the ER where I was tachycardic and becoming unresponsive.Gotta have a road map before you go in to do repairs. Luckily, I had a really sweet tech who played me Queens of the Stone Age to help block out the sounds of the magnets reading my messed-up insides.When the tests were through, Mom and I tried to relax in the hotel, update friend-folk and kin-folk on the disappointing news, then put it out of our minds.This was at the high point of my patient advocacy efforts and I”d enlisted mom to help me document every gory detail, so before I passed out on the bathroom floor in the hotel, while she was calling for help I signaled for her to take a picture. Only now do I recognize how truly and utterly fucked up that was.Was I so in need of a distraction from my own shitty life, so in need of validation of what my disease did to me, and to others, that during an honest to goodness near death experience I had to be an unpaid ass reporter and ask my mom to document, once again, the suffering of her baby girl?This procedure would require me to have general anesthesia for the billionth time, and require the crem de la crem of the J-pouch maesters (Shen and Remzi) to combine their powers and infinite ass wisdom to fix this thing.Problem is, they”re only in the OR together one day a month. That these visits require me to get on a plane, get a hotel, a caregiver, etc.
However, the multiple bags of saline started pumping through my veins and I woke up in a room with a cute doctor doing an ultrasound of a vein on my right forearm and another doing an ultrasound of my heart and other vital organs to be sure they weren”t totally FUBAR.
As soon as we walked in the room, I knew Vicki, Dr. At this point, I had ostomy number 4 or 5, a very high-up, persnickety loop ileo who loved to keep me dehydrated. Takedown wasn”t happening until we could get that tunnel closed.